#3 The fact is things never go that smoothly

The time goes by so fast that I can't keep up with it.
I wast just back from Tunisia, Global Community Development exchange through AIESEC. Well unfortunately things didn't work smoothly, the project is canceled halfway, had nothing to do, but the good thing that I meet friends all over the world there. I remember how everyone got so angry about everything, how we didn't get the things written in contract, how we didn't have the damn thing to do etc, but yes it is a great experience.
Never see from only one side. After that time I've been through, I do learn to survive in a place I don't know and so different from my usual place, surviving the place far more than over capacity, living with people I barely know and how everything keeps going dirty over and over again (ofcourse with that many people in one place!) and i keep cleaning it over and over again. And the best thing is knowing those people whom i'd love to meet again someday.

So now here I am, back to Indonesia, and I'm trying to understand more about this organization--the organization they say the biggest international organization.
One day, I checked my e-mail and then there, the notification from AIESEC. I read those and there's a chance to apply for OCP (Organizing Committee President) of a project. Thought that is a good chance for me, I applied and I get elected.

Things never go smooth, the first thing is there's not much applying for OC, and then after some days, we're a team, then the other days, it fell apart so we're starting from zero again.

Time goes by, and we're full team, unfortunately, everybody have their own things to handle, and gather people from different universities turns out hell. For me, who always try to make time for this, can't even describe how I feel.

This is it, the time that i feel so uneasy, the time I don't know what else to do after every effort I gave, every time I made, every day reminding, every week try to gather every one, and the months i've been through, now I am depressed.

I still remember once when I go to a seminar, there was this one young entrepreneur who said this: "as a leader, you can't just order people around, you have to understand them, understand the work. Though you're leading, you be the mail-man, be the marketing, the finance, designer, etc. Though it's not your job, but you have to understand how it is done" 

The thing is, I've done that, then what? I don't know how would this sound to you, but I too want a feedback, I too want them to respect it. I don't want to give up, it's just that I don't know how to bear this for the remaining time, if things keep go on like this, let's just hope for the best.

#2 Participation as I enter University

Okay, this is the first story i would like to tell.
I was in my first year in Institute of Technology Bandung, and as a freshmen in a university, I was so interested to join every activities my campus held, and that's absolutely impossible.

So I applied for many extra activities which I cannot handle, so as the time goes by, i didn't choose to participate in many of those. So this is the path I chose:

Faculty of Art and Design
AIESEC
Techno Entrepreneur Club
ITB student association - Art and Culture Division (Seni dan Buday KM-ITB)

#1 Continue the things I've started

As I begin to join organizations and try to be proactive, this is the thing I always try to do. Continue the things I have started. For the record, I did accomplish everything i chose to begin with, unless one thing that I remember, continue to write on a journal, diary, private space, or yes you can say a personal blog. 

I did continue to write on social media--twitter and I talk a lot there, it lasted for quite long, 3 years. But I don't consider that a journal, that's where I can update my stuffs and talk a lot of things that now i don't even understand what i'm writing (because it's too short or it's a reply for someone or a retweet).

Truthfully, I never really think that writing on a journal is such a big deal, until now. Why now? I don't know for sure, though. But I realize now that I need to have a track record of myself, even though i might will laugh about it in the future. I noticed that even the most humiliating thing, the most depressing, the most f-ing sh*t  past I would be so embarassed and don't even want to talk about it in the future makes the me today, so now (again) for the so many times, i will start my blog again, hopefully, this one will lasts.