#7 Show Them Their Mistake

That project which consumed a lot of my time, made me refuse other opportunities, made me stay up late and spent money for meetings and printing proposal, yes that project is canceled.
Sad? Yes of course, I gave a lot of effort here, I did all I can.
So, any regret? No.

Yes it is canceled, all the time I spent just turn to nothing. Well is it really nothing?

Well there is something. There is always something you can learn. I have never lead a project before, so I had that experience now. And unfortunately it wasn't successful.

To be honest, I am not the kind of person who can easily express my feeling, because sometimes I can be so emotional that I am afraid that it will turn up with tears. So I often hide it with smile or act like nothing happened. Well not only that, you can say that I'm a really considerate and tolerant person, who thinks a lot about the other's feeling while they don't even bother to do the same.

So there is a question then, "Am I not a good leader? Did I lead them wrong?"

My friend keep saying : You are being too nice, and nice isn't enough, sometimes there are people who needs to be yelled or punished to finish their work.

I: Yes I see your point, but I'm like this because as a member before, I really can't disappoint my leader, when they are a good person. I doubt to keep up the good work if they're the bossy type and order around.

I also told my president about this, all my effort et cetera, and I can summary that this is what he said:

P: First of all I would like to thank you, for staying, and all your efforts. I really want to apologize for all the hard times you went through, how all your supports gone. Well you know, I agree that you are being too nice. Nice isn't enough, I get that you're like this because of what you experienced, but not everyone see things like how you see things. Some people make a use of kindness.

I got this response not only from him, but also my friends. But still, I already explained about my sentimental and sensitive side at the beginning, right? I still curious of how can people show their feelings and let their anger out. So I ask him:

I: How can you get mad at people?
P: Do I look like a person who always mad or yell at people?
I: No, I didn't mean that, but as the preaident of this organization I know that you always handle with things, and ofcourse also people that do wrongs or you will get mad at
P: Yes, but I am not mad or yell, what I'm doing is that to make them know that they are wrong, I need to show them their mistakes. If not, they will never understand. I think this is one of Indonesian people weakness, saying that things are okay, while it's not.

I am so glad to hear it. I know that my project is canceled, my team was disaster, but I do learn things, well for example is that. The thing is if something is not okay, show it, If not, nothing's going to change, and if they don't know their mistakes, who knows what will happen next? They might do the same mistake all over again. And like me, If he didn't tell me that, I will never know.

#6 Saying Thank You

What make me write this is because once my sister told me this.
"Don't forget to say thank you, many people don't notice"
After we walked through the hotel door and passed a hotel worker opening the door and smiling. That time I didn't pay attention to that simple act, but thankfully my sister did.

If you think about it, yes it is their job because it is a hotel service. But do you ever wonder how it is to be them, opening every single door, smiling, maybe say "good morning" but people just walk straight without even notice? Or do you notice your worker/friend/teammates after they did you a favor/hardwork?

From that time, I always pay more attention to simple acts, and once I became a leader of a project, I always try to appreciate every work my team member did. I also understand better how it feels like to be a leader, you have to remember to praise your member but sometimes no one realized how much effort you gave too, that's why I always congratulate my leader too.

#5 Define priorities

I am a really busy person, they say. Yes I love to fill my time with activities, it is just feel weird when I have a long spare time, I always have something to do.

But then, I had conversation with my bestfriend:

D: omg I have a full schedule today
W: of what? meetings again?
D: well ya, and also there are some other things i need to do
W: you're so busy lately
D: yes... there are so many things, and i can't leave it just like that. Others also say that i always gone lately. I think so too, i missed a lot of group hangout lately
W: you know, there's this thing you have to know. "When someone is busy, doesnt mean they do the important thing" and "sometimes you're too busy collecting stones and forget to collect the diamond"

Well It keeps resounding in my head, so am I in the right path? Am I collecting diamond? Or all the things i chase now are just stones?

I think that time make me realize and have a turning point. This is why:
1. There are so many things i have to do, and sometimes in the same time, while i can't divide myself to do it in the same time
2. I missed many moments with my friends
3. I come late because of the tight schedule and i have to be there
4. I stay up late a lot
5. Though i manage to attend those meetings or appoinments, sometimes i lack of focus because of the other job i need to do
6. Can't really focus in class or i often make my task second prioritized
7. Exhausted

So then, I start to prioritize things, I eliminate all the unnecessary things, i can't push myself beyond my limit. Well ofcourse, i still need yo get the things i signed now to be done, because i am responsible for it now, but for the future, i will be more organized.